Over coffee the other day, I was chatting with my friend Deborah when the subject of “break ups” came up. It’s a conversation that comes up every now and again, during which I need Deborah to reassure me that she wasn’t talking about me when she confessed last year to breaking up with friend. Of course, we’ll never know the real truth. Maybe we broke up and got back together again without my even knowing it. Regardless, she treated me to lunch and paid for my parking. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.
I want to reassure you right now. I’m not breaking up with Mindful Girl. I love her deeply. I am so thankful she has come into my life. She brings out a side of me I never knew existed. Or at least a side I was afraid to admit existed. She is my soul mate. Quite literally.
However, I’ve been seducing another. My alter ego.
For those of you who know me IRL, The Wellness Bitch is a chick you’ve met before. She’s the one at the playdate who shamed you into putting the rainbow-colored goldfish back in the pantry; she’s the one who screamed statistics at you when you told her you were electing for a repeat C-section; she’s the one who sighed when you said you were going to stop nursing because the baby “wouldn’t take to it.”
She’s the one who made homemade baby food and chided you for microwaving your Gerber in plastic tupperware.
She’s the one who mixed her own green cleaning products and won’t come over if your cleaning lady has just passed through.
She’s the one who won’t eat your spinach dip or drink your tap water.
She’s annoying. She’s self-righteous. And she’s me.
I may get in your face. I may be bitchy. But I do it because I care. Now, listen dammit.
2 Comments on “The Other Woman”
I like Wellness Bitch. Sometimes we could all use a little of her in our lives.
My long lost TWIN!!
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